Oh I am such a slacker. I haven't updated this blog in a very long time, although I think about it often. I have some disappointing news. I am 8 lbs heavier than my last weight in. I am up to 198. :o( Seriously?!?! I never wanted to be this heavy again. I gained 8 lbs over the holidays. Ridiculous. Time to get my butt back on track!! Starting over TODAY!!!!!!!

I have been using MyFitnessPal since the beginning of the month and I have only lost one freaking pound. In MFP's defense, it is totally MY fault. I have been slacking on the eating, especially this week. It's been non-stop junk food! Oreos, ice cream, Sour Patch Kids. You name it, I've consumed it. I'm happy to say that I have not gained any weight, but I also have not lost any. So today I am getting back on track. I am logging my calories & my fitness. I took the dog on a walk. We did 1.54 miles in 25 minutes. That's not too bad! It's roughly a 16 minute mile. I sure feel like I'm going pretty fast. Of course this also takes into account the many stops we have to make for the dog to use the bathroom or just sniff around. My goal this week is to get back on track with eating & my water drinking and maybe lose a pound. If not, no biggie. I also need to get back into FitClub. I've missed a few days with other things that we had going on (son had strep, PTO meeting, etc), so I am really itching to get back into it. Wish me luck!

Wow I have been busy!  Time just gets away from me before I know it.  Today I cancelled my membership to Weight Watchers.  I just didn't want to pay an extra $17/month for something I am not even using any longer.  It has stopped working for me.  Now don't get me wrong.  I give all the credit to WW for helping me lose 25 lbs!  However, I'm just stuck at 191 lbs.  The scale is the same every time I step on it.  I am working out 3 times a week doing a very intense workout and I am not losing a single pound.  I have started using the site called MyFitnessPal.  It's very simple to use and I enjoy seeing what all I am putting into my body as far as fat, fiber, protein, etc.  It's not just about "points".  I also like that it gives me daily/weekly goals for water & exercise.  I'm going to give this a try and see if it helps me get past this plateau!  I'm doing everything right, I feel, but nothing is working.  Wish me luck!

MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

My weight loss has pretty much stalled at this point.  I am stuck at 190 lbs.  I should say that it varies between 188 and 191.  Just depends on what is going on.  Anyway, I think my plateau is due mainly to the fact that my thyroid is doing all sorts of crazy things.  I finally went to the dr and she lowered my dose.  Of course she was thrilled for me about the weight loss, but she said I should've come in sooner because that big of a weight loss would surely effect my dosing.  She checked my TSH levels and mine were at 1.6.  2.0 is the lowest they want you to be.  So, she had to lower my dose.  Totally not the way I thought that worked, but oh well.  I learned something new!  So I am on a lower dose and my hair has already started to not fall out nearly as much and I am not freezing cold all the time.  Yay!!  I'm hoping that this will also jump start my weight loss again.  I'm not counting on it, but I am hoping.  I don't know what is going on and why I can't get under 188.  I know that is not my ideal body weight.  For me, I'd like to get to 170.  I think I'd be happy and would look really healthy.  I guess my body has other thoughts?  The WW program has worked great, but now I just can't bust through this plateau, even though I've been working out and all that.  It's just not happening for me.  Part of me wants to give up and just eat whatever the heck I want, but I know I won't feel good if I do that.  So, for now, I'm going to just stick with what I feel best doing...eating healthy & exercising when I can.  Maybe some day my body will catch on!!

I thought yesterday was going to be a rough day, but it turned out to be ok. My oldest son, who is 7, had his tonsils taken out yesterday. We were at the hospital from 7:45am to 3:45pm. My stomach was in knots and all I wanted to do was eat, because I am an emotional/stress eater. I can admit that. However, I did not. I went to the cafeteria once he was in his room and stable and I got a salad with fat free Italian dressing and a bowl a fruit. I did end up having part of my husband's Twix bar, but I still came in under my points for the day. Woohoo!! I stepped on the scale this morning, expecting a number higher than what I got. I weighed in at 193 lbs this morning. This is such an accomplishment for me because this is the lowest I weight I can remember being at in my adult life. I cannot ever remember stepping on the scale and it saying anything lower than 194 lbs. So 193 was such a goal for me! I am very happy with this, but it reminds me I will have a long way to go too. I still need to lose 23 lbs. I've lost 21 lbs so far, so I still have more than I've lost to go. Make sense? Sounds funny. It's upsetting, but I just need to stay encouraged. I really wish I had time to add in some exercise, but at this point, I just don't have the time. I am hoping in August, once school starts, I can get in at least 30 min Monday-Friday. That would be ideal and I should have time for that with both kids in school full time this year. In positive news, I only have 5 lbs to lose before I've lost 10% of my body weight. That is exciting!!

Ahhh, today was HARD!!! We went to a picnic at church and no one brought anything healthy, of course, and I showed up starving. NOT a good idea!! Now I'm left with 3 points to use for dinner. Not cool. I will definitely be going over my points today. :o(

I'm depressed. It's been a horrible week with my husband still not recovered from his septum repair. I'm struggling. Hard core. I cannot remember the last time I worked out. I have zero motivation and the miniature Reese's Cups my husband got me for Valentine's Day are calling my name at all hours. I just want to eat. I know it's because I'm stressed and super exhausted from handling two rough & tough little boys completely on my own. I have gained 4 lbs. FOUR. POUNDS. Unacceptable. I really would like to be at my goal weight by June. That gives me just over 3 months to lose 34 lbs. That is 11 lbs per month. 2.75 lbs per week. Is it doable? I am not sure. All I know is that I am tired of feeling so fat, weak, and exhausted. I cannot climb the stairs without getting winded. Pathetic for someone who is 30! I used to be in such great shape. I was able to play 90 minutes of competitive soccer without a break! I am pathetic. Time to do something about it!

Oh gosh, it's been a horrible 2 weeks for me. I have gained 2 pounds. I am not proud and I feel like a total failure. What am I doing to myself? My husband was supposed to have surgery so I was busy preparing for that (cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.). So, my workouts stopped since that is the time I was using to prepare. Then, the big ice storm hit. Let me tell you, it was bad. The base was closed & my husband's surgery was cancelled. We were snowed in, along with my mother-in-law, for 4 days. It was awful. We basically sat around watching movies, playing games, reading, etc. Didn't do a single workout. Now, here we are, the week that my husband is finally going to have his surgery and I am back into preparation mode. Cleaning, grocery shopping, making sure everything is running smoothly. It's awful. I hate this. I want a normal life!!! There is no time for me. I always come last. Why? I don't know. The other stuff is more important...more vital to the smooth operation of our household I guess. I feel like such a failure. 2 pounds!! Really?? What the heck??!! Ugh. I must exercise today. At least at some point. Even if it's after the kids have gone to bed. I hate that I did this to myself. Oh, and not to forget...I was in the ER twice with a kidney infection and got IV fluids both times. *sigh* I have to take better care of myself.

I lost some weight. OK, let's not kid ourselves, it's nothing to get too excited over. I lost 0.2 lbs. Go me! Ha! I weigh myself the exact same every time I weigh in...completely naked and early in the morning. So I'm hoping that the 0.2 lb weight loss is accurate. At least it's a loss and not a gain. I must find the positive side to the small weight losses.

Really going to try my hardest to eat healthier meals. Headed to Subway today for lunch. Going with the 6 inch sandwich over the footlong. That's hard for me to do because I really love to eat and have a big appetite. Who knows...maybe I'll splurge on the sub since I didn't eat breakfast this morning. We'll see how hungry I am when I get there. Regardless of the size, there will be plenty of veggies on that sucker!

Still need to find time to work out. It would really relieve this stress I am under. Don't know why I can't fit it in. Or maybe I just feel like I am not worth putting as a priority?

Starting weight: 214 lbs

Current weight: 212.4 lbs

Goal weight: 175 lbs

I changed the order of the colors of my "weights". I figured the green weight should be my goal weight since it's something positive. The red weight is my "bad" weight.

Also, I thought it was time to add a ticker to my entries. I am using this one since it doesn't show the actual weight, which can be depressing, but it does show the difference and shows how much I have lost so far. 2 lbs down, only 37 to go! If I were to start losing a pound a week, that would take me 37 weeks! Yikes! That's over 9 months!! Wow. Didn't realize I was that bad off. Oh well, a loss is a loss, right? 2 lbs is better than nothing or better than gaining weight.

MUST. STAY. POSITIVE.!!!!!

www.my-calorie-counter.com     The webs free Weight Loss Tracker

So I haven't worked out in who knows how long. Even after my last post saying I was going to do it no matter what, I didn't do it. How big of a loser am I? Ugh. It seems that every time I commit myself to working out, I always find a reason not to. It's not that I don't love the benefits, it just seems there are more "important" things...my husband, my kids, errands to run, house to be cleaned. Always something to put before myself. I've always been that way. Always been a giver. I stress so much, especially during this time of the year. It's hectic and I've been going non-stop. I am feeling it in my body, for sure. Today I have had a rough day. I've been so stressed that I feel pain in my chest and across my upper back. I'm shakey and just feel downright awful. Nonetheless, there are things to get accomplished before bedtime tonight. My house is a disaster. I really really need help. My husband can't help because he's at work. Then when he gets home, he's not going to want to help because he'll want to spend time with the kids. There's just no time for anything anymore with everything I have to do. It's so stressful. I want to lose weight and feel good.

Speaking of feeling good, I realize I am getting older. At this point in my life I have got to get into good shape. It only gets harder the older you get and I don't want to be this weight for the rest of my life. I know that I will end up with high blood pressure and all the issues my parents have. I don't want to have to take any more medications than I already take.

After Christmas, I fully intend to kick myself in the butt and force myself to get back to exercising. I've got to do this for me, for once in my life.

Good news: I haven't gained any weight, despite eating my body weight in pizza last night. Or maybe something's wrong with my scale? Should probably check that out.