Why do I keep putting it off? "Oh, I'll start back on this working out and dieting thing on Monday!" Really? Why not start today? I don't understand it. Am I afraid of failure? I really think so. My heart cannot take failure. I am afraid of disappointing those I love, even though they won't really even know I'm trying to lose weight. I'm just afraid that if people see me watching what I eat and working out, but the weight isn't coming off that I am going to look like a failure. Why am I even afraid of failing? Everyone fails at something or some point in their lives. I haven't really experienced real failure yet. I don't want this to be the first time for me. Sure, I've failed tests and haven't been able to do things perfectly, but a true failure for me would be trying my hardest to lose weight and not accomplishing it. I really need to lose at least 35 lbs. That's a minimum to be considered healthy. So it's a numbers game for me and I'm terrified that it might come down to where my body says, "Um, excuse me, we're only letting you lose 30 lbs!" and then I would feel like I failed because that last 5 lbs wouldn't come off. I have got to do this. I think it would help with so many other issues I have. So...I am starting today. Of course, I may not be able to eat the best, but I am going to make a conscious decision about what I put into my mouth. I may not be able to exercise, but I'm going to strive to take more steps today and get up and moving more. I think if I exercised more, I'd want to move around more and that all helps! So no more excuses...today I am starting over.