I hit 190.6 lbs today!! For some reason, the weight is starting to come off more slowly. In the beginning, I was losing over 2 lbs per week. Now it's slowing down. I still have another 20 lbs I would like to lose. I am also going to start working out today. I want to be honest and say that I am 100% scared to work out. I do not want to gain weight and it seems that when I work out, I gain weight. I really do not want to see that number on the scale go up. Especially since I am only at 190, which is still too close to 200 to be packing on any weight...even if it IS muscle weight. So I am frightened. I want to lift weights so I can start toning, but if I start to notice that scale creeping up, I'll have to back off. So I am sitting here before my workout already nervous and sweating! :oP I know I need to do it, no matter what. Exercise is not only good for helping lose weight, but also for your heart and at this point I'm pretty much sedentary...minus the cleaning & playing I do with my kids. I wish someone could design a workout plan just for me. Something that would help me tone & lose weight without bulking up or putting weight on!

In happier news, I've now lost a total of 24 lbs. This is super exciting and people are starting to notice! I went to a BBQ with people I haven't seen in almost a year and they were all commenting on my weight loss. My grandmother-in-law told me I didn't need to lose anymore, God love her!! I am very proud of myself. I know this last 20 lbs is going to be the hardest to get off. I still can't believe I weigh under 200 lbs. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I no longer wear a size 18...or a 16 even! I'm nervous to buy new clothes still because I'm afraid if I try something on and it doesn't fit that I am going to be upset since I've lost weight and it SHOULD fit. I guess we'll just have to see. I am also nervous about going on vacation. It's hard to be on vacation and try to eat healthy and workout. I do NOT want to gain on vacation. I cannot gain on vacation.

Alright...I've gotta stop procrastinating and get my workout done. Praying I don't gain weight. Please Lord, help me!!